by Pierre le Roux
I am in a mood. Actually, I have been in a mood since Monday. For those of you who are not sure what I mean with “in a mood”, let me explain. Since Monday I have not been able to snap out of my normal, not so pleasant, grumpy Monday morning personality and I have been a Debby Downer ever since. Much like Grumpy Cat, I have been somewhat on the “glass is half empty and you can go fuck yourself” side. But don’t get me wrong. I am not apologizing. Everyone is allowed to have a bad day; or in my case a few of them. I just pity the people around me who have not learned how to deal with me when I am behaving like an emotionally stunted child alternated by me breaking down into a snot filled mess. The secret is to just ignore me or to say “you are pretty” but you have to get your timing exactly right or else things can get ugly. After some introspection (talking to our cats because I am eccentric or normal that way) I have come to the bottom of why I am being such a bitch. It was narrowed down to Vodka, Fat and Pollen.