Last month in Maiden, North Carolina, Baptist pastor Charles Worley suggested that rounding up the “queers” and locking them in an “electrified pen” would force gay extinction. Aside from the glaring flaw to this argument (that only gay parents produce gay children), Worley’s theory does make you wonder: If gays and lesbians cannot reproduce as easily (or at least as often) as heterosexuals, how has the gay gene survived?
Italian genetic researcher Andrea Camperio Ciani may have the answer. Camperio Ciani’s landmark study, which will be published in the upcoming issue of the “Journal of Sexual Medicine,” posits that the maternally-handed-down gene that determines homosexuality in men is also responsible for high fertility and super hotness in their straight sisters and moms. Yes, I said super hotness.
If you think about it, gay men having super hot, highly fertile sisters and moms makes absolute sense. If you are a gay man, chances are you will not be passing along your genes to your offspring without a little help (i.e., a surrogate mother or a virgin birth). But if a woman is attractive and extremely fertile, she will most likely have the scientific equivalent of a “mess of kids.” Not only will the sister’s offspring offset her gay brother’s potential lack of offspring, but the gay gene is guaranteed to thrive. In other words, by sharing the same gene, gay men and their baby-popping sisters essentially balance each other out in the offspring department, while creating more gay offspring in the process. It’s like a wonderful, Gloria Gaynor power anthem miracle of genetics.
Camperio Ciani’s theory, which is formerly known as “balancing selection hypothesis,” also concludes that sisters and mothers of gay men are funnier, more relaxed and more extroverted than women who do not have the gay gene. They also exhibit less anxiety and report fewer family problems. And all this time, we thought that gay men were just a good influence on their straight sisters and moms.
Of course, genetic scientists are still unsure about which gene is responsible for homosexuality, and other factors, including hormonal changes in the womb, also play a role in creating homosexual offspring. And let’s not forget about lesbians. Do we have hot brothers, too?
Research ambiguity aside, Camperio Ciani’s landmark study will influence the way people respond to haters like Pastor Charles Worley, gay marriage opponents and people who say being gay is a “choice.” For one, the study proves that gay men aren’t going anywhere. Secondly, straight men may look at gay men differently, and perhaps more appreciatively, for bringing more hot women into the world. Finally, this research (and others studies like it) suggest that homosexuality is a genetic trait that has existed for millennia.
Put that in your fence.